Margo

Julia met Michel in the theater. She fell in love with him at first sight.She had never seen a more beautiful man.He wasn’t vain of his good looks though he knew he was handsome.They went party together,had dinner or supper together,Michel was friendly and kind to her but it was clear Julia was just a comrade to him.She knew he wasn’t in love with anybody else, she knew he liked her but he didn’t understand it himself yet and she tried to do everything she could to seduce him..Julia soon discovered that he didn’t like spending money but she didn’t mind it she liked him for counting the pennies.She admired him because he hated to be in debt and he always managed to save up  a little.She learnt Michel hated the idea about getting married because to marry an actress was to put a millstone round your neck. Her heart melted when she looked into his eyes. when it came to his b-day she gave him  a thing he wanted more than anything in the world .It was a gold ciggarette case. She even got pleasure spending her money on him.But when it came to her b-day Michel gave her a pair of cheap stockings coz he couldnt bring himself to spend much. But Julia was touched he had given her anything at least.Julia was going to be a star , she was the best and she made the rest of actors look like a cheese but she decided that Michel and she should act always together so the public got accustomed to seeing the two names on the same bill.

Michel said he was no longer cared about acting as he thought there were no suitable parts for him because authors didn’t write the parts they had used to write And he  cant play very well young lovers.He thought that  the play was wrong no acting in the world would save it.Michel didn’t like the way modern actors took liberty with a text.He said that people didn’t care about the theatre anymore they came not to see the plays but to see the actors. And even when he was young girls went to see him but not his play. He wasn’t a good actor, he was a cold lover, he couldnt show his feelings and passion on public he got shy, it was only his beauty that saved him

James Langton a man of forty looked like prosperous gentleman and had a passion to the theatre. He was an arrogant, vain man but very charming. During the rehearsals he scremed at the actors,bullied them and underpaid them but if they played a touching scene he cried like a child.He was well enough known in the theatrical world.

He had been living in the theater since his childhood.He used to be a stage-hand,an actor a stage-manager and even a critic, he knew everythin about the theater.Jimmie discovered Julia when he was on a short holiday and every night went to the theater in one town after another .He said she was a real talent,she had magnetism and charm and a perfect voice but he would teach her how to use it all. He offered her a 3 year contract to make her the greatest actress in London

Michel was a man of fifty-two. He has a very good figure as a young man,he had a great mass of grey hair,he wore it short,he had wonderful skin, and large deep blue eyes, a straight nose and small ears,the only way that spoiled him was a thinness oh his mouth.He was just six foot tall and had a gallant bearing. Michel wasn’t very keen about acting any more.He found it impossible to find a part to suit him.He couldn’t very well ply young lovers.He thought that writes didn’t write good lines anymore and people wasn’t intrested in the theater, they came not to see the plays, but to see the players.When he was a young man he played Romeo, but then he realized that Shakespeare would get him nowhere and that if he wanted to become a leading actor he must gain experience in modern plays.Michel decided to write to Langton and asked whether he would see him.Langton guessed why Michel wanted to see him and went to see him play.He didn’t think Michel very good but when he came into the office Langton was staggered by his beauty, he was so handsome even without make-up that it took your breath away.The result of the interview was that he got an engagement and soon grew very popular.Girls went to the theater just to see him play, they send him flowers and wrote love letters.But he didn’t want to let his private life interfere with his work. He wasn’t very good actor and his main fault was that he was cold lover so it was his beauty that saved him.

Julia,Michels wife,was a woman of forty-six,she was born in Jersey,she had fine ,large ,very dark brown and starry  eyes,she had a good figure,everyone admitted that,she was tall and had long legs,she had a low rich voice,she was brilliant and had a good sense of humor, she wasn’t a beautiful woman, she wasn’t even a pretty one,but anyway she didn’t think she was beautiful woman, she didn’t she was even pretty one. Julia was an experienced actress, she knew how to fit the gesture to the word,but she didn’t look well in costume,but no one could wear modern clothes as well as she could.Julia was a kind person,she understood that Tom was very nervous to have lunch with her and she tried everything she could to put him at his ease.She was a sensetive person,the boys shyness touched her very much and she called him poor lamb.Julia was a really born actress, her first lesson she got from her aunt when she was twelve.She taught her very important things.When she was 16 she went to the Academy and soon she got a small part in London as a french maid,then she was asked to play an austrian waitress.Two years later Jimmie Langton discovered her and offered to make her the great actress in England , to teach her how to use her charm and offered her 3 year contract.Soon Julia really was a great hit.

The new accountant came from Lawrence and Hamphreys. He was anxious to get a job in the theatre. He adored his act and especially his wife’s. He had been to see the play three times and was crazy to be introduced to her.Michel was sure the young man knew how to get over with their accounts.He seemed to know his job.

   Soon Julia appeared and was amazed to see a young man. Her husband explained he was an articled clerk, a big fan of her  and was good enough to put some order into the mess they had made to their accounts.

    Michel introduced Julia to the young man with an air of ambassador.The boy went scarlet, he smiled stiffly in answer to Julia, his hands got wet and was trembling, he forced himself to say a word.In two words he felt ill at ease with Julia, he was confused.But his shyness touched her. She liked the man.Julia noticed he wasn’t good -looking but rather sweet and his shyness was  attractive. He had a frank,open face, blue eyes, curly light brown hair, a fresh colour, a good skin and small well-shaped teeth. She noticed with approval that his clothes fitted and he wore him well.He looked nice and clean

  Michael and Julia smiled on him kindly.His admiration made them feel a little larger then life-size. They invited him to have lunch with them. But they even didn’t manage to learn his name.The boys’s name was Tom. Michael didn’t think it was so much important as he asked only distinguished people who visit them to write their names in his book.

   At lunch they spoke about the theatre.They allowed the young man to come to rehearsals as he was their accountant.Tom hoped  to see Michael acting but the actor said he wasn’t very keen about acting anymore.He couldn’t find a line that would suit him,and even if the play was wrong no acting in the world would save it. Authors didn’t write good lines anymore and the public wasn’t intrested in the theatre but in players. They didn’t care about the way the actors acted they just came too see them.

   When they finished their lunch ,Julia took Tom to give him a photo of her. She gave him the best one and was pleased to hear she was exactly like on the photo .

accountant ( э’kauntэnt) -бухгалтер

articled clerk ( ‘a:t|kl kla:k) -клерк,проходящий опред курс обучения по контракту

ambassador ( &m’b&sэdэ)-посол

distinguished (dis’t|Ngw|{t)-  выдающийся

 rehearsals(  r|’hэ:sэl)

 Everyday she is  worse and worse, Everyday she feels more and more she has partly decomposed.The words she tells, the things she does are different to her inside but anyway they comes outside.Sometimes she feels an animal in her,frighten evil bursts out crying, never-ending tears are drying out.Her look is idle, She’s absent minded, She’s indifferent,She’s non-believer, She’s non-achiever and She doesn’t really care about what’s going on.She wanna feel alive, tremendously wanna feel alive.And She has no idea what she should do.She’s going down and down with stiffly smile. The present took away the best she has ever had, the past gifted the mess she is suffering.Her thoughts are dirty, her actions r low,her heart feels lust,her look is filled with black dust but people likes her. She forces herself to tell the good.What is that she is running from?What is that she is afraid of?She feels a change,She feels she’s coming to the edge.She works her guts out in the 3d person to stop the shit that makes her apocalypse

Меня можно записать в книгу рекордов, ведь уже 3 год пускаю слюни и слезы ,и всякие прочие жидкости по мужчине,которого никогда не существовало, отсюда и блудствования,и бегства, и неприступность.

Страшно ли получить расплату за безразличие и за все недавние nightmares & broken hearts? Ведь когда-нибудь она вызовет на дуэль мой disinterest ко всему,кроме себя любимой.

Русские писатели любили писать о свободе как и о и социальной,гражданской,так и о духовной,внутренней.М.Ю, Лермонтов не был исключением.Юношеская тяга Лермонтова,как и Пушкина, к свободомыслию и желанию избавить Россию от несправедливости появилась в результате увлечения заподноевропейской философией.Тема свободы-это любимая тема писателя.Идея свободы в творчестве М.Ю.Лермонтова все время переплетается с идеями безысходности и гордого одиночества.Герой Леромонтова,как и сам автор,отличается более низкой жизненной активностью,наличием серьезных зачатков одиночества,вызванных трагической отрешенностью “лишнего человека”,отсутствием возможности использовать силу и дао своей души в интересах общества.Для романтического героя Леромонтова образ свободы становится метафорическим.

Это странно,но я снова пишу здесь на русском. Наверное, я решила заглянуть правде в глаза и не прятаться за многочисленными синонимами,искажая смысл написанного до невозможности. Еще более странно звучит заголовок моего поста.Запах? Никогда не придавала ему большого значения,да меня и никогда прежде не волновал ни чей запах.Но на сей раз меня он покалеблил, и это сказанно не односмысленно.

Я не люблю запах сигарет, он душит и тебя словно посыпают сверху пеплом,отчего хочется по-быстрее пойти и встать под холодный душ.Странные ощущения и странные ассоциации.Я прежде никому не позволяла курить в моем присутствии. Но еще странее то,что на данный момент мне нравится этот запах.Но я не чувствую его абсолютно чистым,без примесей других.Я чувстую особенный запах,с которым я прежде нигде не сталкивалась. Сигареты+ легкий,воздушный запах алкоголя+запах горячего тела+запах волос+запах адикалона.На слух это,возможно, и звучит банально, но когда ты сжимаешь в ладонях ткань,прислоняешься лицом и делаешь глубокий,медленный,размеренный вдох, этот запах вызывает необычные ощущения,но приятные. Это запах страсти. Я даже на зову его пафосным)Он оказывает эффект возбуждения на мою нервную систему,  пальцы от чего-то начинают невольно сжиматься,как будто я разрываю плотную соленую воду.Я не знаю,откуда у взялись такие ассоциации,но это что-то новое для меня. Я хочу вдыхать и вдыхать его. Когда стоишь в час пик среди сотни людей, ты чувствуешь идентичные запахи: алкоголь,сигареты,парфюм-но в тебе не начинает ничего импульсировать,все ровно,только всплывает воспоминание в сознани.Если бы я была мужчиной, я бы провела аналогию с произведением Маяковского ” Мужчина облако в штанах”.Ха-ха. И опять же выходит двусмысленно, потому что у этого названия непрямое значение-сентиментальность.А меня пробило на сентиментальность.А я хочу его,это не просто смольный запах,это…Я хочу собрать его, но это утопия,это нереально. Я хочу вдыхать его как можно чаще, как аромосмеси. Ах,эти запахи.Многие в поисках обретения сексуальности готовы заплатить за флакон любые деньги.Но
современный человек упорно не замечает то, что естественный запах тела – вот ,что на самом деле притягивает или отталкивает.В данном случае притягивает. Наверное, поэтому  теперь я люблю запах сигарет.Нет, я люблю его запах.

 To spill here all my tears, forgetting the glimpses of what could be my past,my ever haunting ghost. Haunting ghost, you have never been leaving her for several years and it seems to long for ages. All I have are glimpses, remembering me about my past without my ghost.Apathetic state has developed in a usual state. You see, Margo’s frozen eyes can not let the light in , but they can let her  darkness out. J,she’s afraid Margo won’t come back to light. She can fly if I want, She can raise her shining eyes if I want, She can let her lips to laugh truly, but She won’t, cause she can’t, cause I don’t want. Deep, inside she still believes in J’s existence. Deep inside she is still trying to find the truth,But her eyes are empty and shut. Seek, seek, SEEK. Happiness is near, so close to her can touch its electric waves. Damn you. So die with her now. Why will you stay with smiling mouth ? So damn you, broke your lies. Enemy inside, enemy inside her, every night and every day she tries to protect her flower, she tries to abandon cold world inside. I regret. Proud in shame . PROUD! But  I’ll broke this eternal sleep. Margo will feel a heartbeat. She has been already given a hand. And what do you think? hahaha. My only curse is not my only wish any more.It will be fractured into pieces. My wish - to stop hers never-ending curse. It hasn’t killed all Margo’s senses. How did J say? J’s life is not your own game? Margo’s life is not your own game. Forsaken and forgotten. It won’t take Margo. She is going to awake. I’ll pray…

I guess it’s awesome - face to face, mind to mind, lips to lips, laughs to laughs. It’s special to be asexual when you’re on the same wave, the same line. Consider it to be a total freedom: you are not alone, but you belong to nones. I hate being controlled,I hate being ruled. There are No rules, No control there . 100 percent - activitys freedom, minds freedoms.

It’s not a post for break-hearted, except me. I was broken, I was hurted,I was hitted. Rain can’t wash away my pain that’s why, i guess, I need to break someone’s heart so much. So,I’m here,  Sid. It’ s my time and my game.I won’t play God with you. I’ll do it reasonable with thousands  tiny unseen ways, you won’t catch me. Now it’s my turn,my friend.